In a previous article, we looked at How to recognise and deal with stress at work.

This article will relate to and follow on from that.

Please feel free to read that, if it resonates with you and your experiences.

In this article we are looking at How do we deal with stress?

there was something about Star Wars but heh… it didn’t work out. 

there was something about Star Wars but it didn't work out. Click To Tweet

feeling unhappy and stressed?

feeling unhappy and stressed?

Stress is not an illness…. but it can lead to illness. Unfortunately, stress has become a way of living for many, the ‘norm’ in our society and especially for those in caring roles, parenting roles, work and education.

So how do we deal with it?

How do we become a master of the stress and not the slave of it? Well, we can start off by paying attention to it, recognising it and see what the stress is… and the way you are acting and ask yourself… am I okay?


Recognise the signs of stress; anxiety, heart palpitations, worry, bad dreams, not able to sleep, low energy, low libido, frustration and being short tempered.

So what is the solution to stress?

The external part of the issues…..

So what is the solution to stress? Click To Tweet

Apart from talking to others and recognising that you are feeling stressed, and looking at the issues that are causing you stress in your work, or life in general.


You can make changes and take back control of a situation. For example, not being the recipient of something, being done to, but being able to change a situation. And being in control.


Stand up for yourself, deal with issues head-on, sometimes the external causes of the stress will change, other times they won’t.

So what else can you do?

Some work needs to happen on the internal side of your life, the inner You!

monkey face by jeff james

STOP monkeying around.

Some work needs to happen on the internal side of your life, the inner You! Click To Tweet

How do we do this?

Well, we can start by showing kindness towards ourselves. Look after ourselves, treating ourselves well, getting enough sleep, drinking plenty of water, eating good foods, exercising and loving ourselves.

We have that permission.

We have that gift.


When we start to be kind to ourselves this affects how we deal with the external stresses in our lives. Consequently how this stress affects us… can start to change.

For example; things that stressed us before no longer build up, we deal with them better because we feel that we have more control over our reactions, our life,

we have more resilience,

we address and tackle them better and make adjustments in our lives to then re-balance our lives.



Speak nicely to yourself.

For example: start by asking…What type of things do I say to myself?

Do I use negative words about myself?

Such as…. “you idiot, why did you do that?

You complete muppet, did you just say that stupid thing?  Do they think you are mad”?

You wouldn’t speak like that to others or a child…

Would you?

Why use those words on yourself?

Start to practice sending love to yourself and love yourself. Think of things that you liked about yourself today, write them down.


For example; I worked hard today, I made a great dinner, I listened to my friend well and helped them, I exercised really well today and I didn’t eat sugar.  


Pick 3 things you liked about your day, things that you did, go over them in your mind before you go to sleep, and these positive images of yourself will stay with you during the night.  


Talk to yourselves as we would a small, a very loved child. Look in the mirror and say for example …. “I love me, I love my face, I love my eyes, my body, I am good, I am kind, I am loving”.  


Saying these positive affirmations and verbally communicating them to ourselves on a daily basis, helps us to reprogramme our brains to be more resilient, to be calmer and feel loved.  

We tend to look after our pets, better than we look after ourselves.


The way we talk to ourselves is crucial;

Studies show that how we talk to ourselves can actually lead to a toxicity build up in our bodies.

We tend to look after our pets, better than we look after ourselves. Click To Tweet

It can affect our immune systems and lead to long-term illness and exhaustion and a breaking down of our health and bodies.  


If we don’t address stress in ourselves and how we react to it, it can build up and affect our health. Use kindness, sensitivity, loving words towards yourself.    

A good whipping

No… not that kind of whipping.

Being hard on yourself when you are already stressed isn’t motivating you… it is like getting a whip out …whipping your back or kicking you when you are down.

it is like getting a whip out ...whipping your back or kicking you when you are down Click To Tweet Recognise your work/life balance;


  • how often you exercise.
  • Can you make changes in your life to make your life easier? Less stressful i.e. do you really need that promotion? Do you have too much work to do? Do you put unrealistic pressure on yourself?
  • You are what you eat….is your diet good? Are the foods you eat clean? i.e. not full of additives and bad fats/sugar.
  • How stressed are you and how do you react to various situations, how do they make you feel? i.e. anxious, fearful, nervous….can you avoid them? Think about how you change them?
  • Drink plenty of water to flush out toxins, and keep yourself hydrated. Think about…If dehydration can increase the symptoms of someone with dementia what effect does it have on someone who doesn’t have dementia?
  • Can it add to feelings of being low?
  • Or a Foggy mind?


Other factors to consider when tackling stress in your life:

  • Know yourself, what triggers set you off feeling stressed?
  • Do you have control over these triggers?
  • Are these done to you or can you stop them triggering your feelings?
  • What strengths of your own character can you draw upon to help yourself?
  • For example, can you take yourself off somewhere to recover or do some yoga, meditation, exercise?
  • Go for a walk. Work somewhere quiet. Give yourself some space to process what you are dealing with.

Conclusion: Don’t beat yourself up…we all make mistakes:

See your mistakes as ways forward, steps toward learning. We make mistakes and we learn, it is how we progress.

See that as a positive, and tell yourself and others just this, “I stuffed up but I’ve learnt from this!” Tell yourself… I am evolving.   These types of recognition and seeing things differently will reduce stress in your life.


Remember…..it is very important to recognise the signs and admit to someone that you are stressed.

I found this very hard to do.

It can be very hard to talk to someone, and you don’t always recognise you are experiencing something.

  • Love yourselves,
  • be kind to yourselves,
  • when you love yourself and recognise any issues and how they affect you, then you can start to address them, and readdress the balance.

Be kind to yourself …it is good medicine.

Be kind to your mind and body.

Take time out to float.

If you want to read more of my musings and articles have a look here on my blog on the Axe your 9 to 5 website.

Or if you want to see what education I am getting that is changing my life around and getting out of the 9 to 5 by building my own online business, there are 7 free videos that will blow your mind.

They will show you that there are alternatives out there that any person can achieve if they want to. Act here for the videos.

So, what do you do to be kind to yourself, and reduce the stress in your life? Have you got some great hints and hacks for this type of thing?

Leave a comment below and let us know.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Take back control.

Jeff James.

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